In sickness and in health...
Honestly I did not expect coming here to be so so hard. I've traveled abroad before, experienced third-world living, and have had my share of mishaps in foreign countries. Being here in India, I don't think I have felt so sick in my life (or maybe it just feels so much worse because I am in an unfamiliar place). Like they told us in orientation, I am trying to give myself grace in the transition time.
Things I'm learning/thinking about:
Rest is mandatory for life. IT IS NOT OPTIONAL. Why is this so hard for me? Even in Nashville I had a hard time resting and being still. Well, in being sick I am forced to rest. I guess this is a good thing. Now let's just pray that my mind can start to rest.
Letting other people help/take care of me. I do not like accepting help and for real it is hard to say no to help when you are so weak and you can't even walk and you throw up in the entrance to the hospital. It takes courage to ask for something when you need it, whether it be physical help or mental/emotional help. This is a tough learning process for me.
People pleasing. Wow, this one hits me hard. Even in India I am feeling the need to make everyone like me. I just want to be friends with everyone. This is simply not possible and probably not a good idea. This doesn't allow time for deep relationships or physical rest.
I have even been worrying that my "rest" time being sick is being wasted by watching movies and listening to music. If you can't tell, I am an over-thinker, worrier, and I stress out too much. But you wouldn't be able to see that from the outside... I'm good at hiding it.
At least God sees and knows. He knows I worry about the littlest things. He knows what I need. He knows what I hide. He knows the people who I need in my life for each moment. He is there for me when I am too sick to stand up and he is there when I am busy people pleasing and avoiding my true feelings.
Thank you Jesus for the cross and the relationship I can now have with my Father. My Father who knows and sees and cares and loves like no other.